There are tears welling up in my eyes, but its not because I*m sad. I*m just sitting here listening to music (Regina Spektor, actually,) and looking at my boys on the couch together. Because of the song, I asked Jim who he thought loved who first. He says he loved me first. But you know what, Jim and I don*t even agree on our first meeting. I apparently have forgotten the first meeting we ever had in a dorm.... In real time,Jack has a playful smile on his lips and Jim just looks content. Now don*t you go telling me a 10 week old (tomorrow!) can*t playfully smile. My kid is a GENIUS. And I*m sure I*m the only one to ever think that.... But he had some shots yesterday, and our pediatrician seems to think that he IS advanced, socially. But then again, a child of mine would be a social butterfly...
I cannot fathom how I am happier with cancer than without. Its like some switch went off in my mind, and suddenly everything is better. I know, you*re thinking, this girl is off her rocker. I guess it has just made me appreciate everything so much more.
Today, we traveled to A.I. Dupont Hospital, its a pediatric hospital. My oncologist was concerned that maybe Jack has some of the bad cells from my placenta in him. It would likely manifest as liver issues/cancer. I think a friend on Facebook summed it up pretty well (haaaaiiii Gwen!) when she said "no parent should ever have to do this." It wasn*t as bad as I thought, and Jack took the blood draw like a champion. Here he is before:
And AFTER!
Straight chillin, my little fly guy.
You should have seen me, I was a mess. But instead of that, I will entertain you with this funny picture of me in a mask since it was, after all, a children*s hospital. They tend to have sick kids there.... not great for chemodo dragons like myself. I am not invincible:
The doc promised that he would have the bloodwork "in two hours." Just a word to the wise: if you are going to tell a parent you can answer, definitively, if their child has a life threatening illness, YOU SHOULD DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE! He actually asked if we wanted to stay and wait, but I had to have the stitches out of my port, back in Lewes (2 hours away.) Our appointment was at 9, so when we hadn*t heard by 4 PM, Jim and I were really buggin out.We called and they said, they won*t know until tomorrow. WHY DIDN*T THAT DR PUT A STAT ORDER ON MY KID*S BLOODWORK?????? WHAT THE HELL, MAN???
So, what happens if the bloodwork is good?
Party hearty.
Life is good,
Jack is healthy.
But, if he has some hcg in his blood, its a bad sign. He will need to be admitted to the hospital, sedated, and given a CT scan with an IV and everything. And I was upset about a NEEDLE. *Sniff*
Let*s just hope and pray that Jack is healthy.
I will update you guys tomorrow!
kat, not sure if my other post posted.... so here i go again... lol.... but i just wanted to say that we r all praying for you and jack.... you are going to kick ass through this and bust out with superhero/mom status..... it is really hard to deal with situations and trying to understand why things happen the way they do.... but i believe that everything happens for a reason, and whatever that reason is..... you have done such a great job being strong and holding it together for jack and you have such a beautiful family.... i only wish you the best and wanted you to know that this has touched so many of us back home here in buffalo, and if you guys need anything dont even hesitate to holler.... so please keep us posted!!! stay strong momma, jack needs you, and jim needs you, so keep kicking ass... hugs.
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