The big 3-0

Today is my thirtieth birthday. 

Cheers! I am so grateful I made it here. I can admit, now that it's over, I was scared a few times I might not. Thanks to everyone who has been here with me every step of the way. 

PET Remission

Because a picture is worth a thousand words. 

The Last Day

I can't believe it, even as I am writing it, but today is finally, really, actually, FULLY, my very last day of chemo. Its hard to believe that less than 5 months ago, my life was changed forever. It still doesn't seem real. Its like there is this part of me that shut down inside and refused to believe it was even happening to me, and that part of me is still very much there. When I woke up this morning, it felt so different than any other chemo day. I haven't blogged in so long, and I am feeling rusty.

Part of the last day seems overshadowed, since my hCG had a small rise last week from 2.8 to 3.2. Dr. Sehbai is not concerned, and I actually emailed Dr. Goldstein, who is the medical director of the Dana Farber Institute. Dana Farber is the most advanced GTD center in the country, and I really trust Dr. Goldstein's opinion. The most amazing thing about him, is he has been emailing and talking on the phone with us with absolutely no way to bill for his services all along. I plan to follow up with him once I am done with chemo, and I can't wait to meet the man to whom treatment of GTD seems to be so important. I can't help wondering how he was touched by this horrible disease and what made him so dedicated to treating it. ANY-WHO.... Both Dr. Sehbai and Dr. Goldstein and Dr. Cowabunga agree that small rises in hCG are normal. It is still scary as hell, for sure. But, as long as there is not a trend upward, I am still in the clear. I think it's better that it happened while I still had one round of chemo to go, because I can still anticipate a drop in my number. So for now it is 3.2 and thats a hell of a lot better than where I started (over 300,000.)

We are planning on stopping in at Jim's work today before chemo with Jack to visit, so I can meet some of his coworkers. I have met a lot of them, but some of the administrators I haven't had the chance to meet yet. His work shift is throwing a benefit for our family to help us with the costs associated with treatment and from me not working all this time. The whole group at Sussex County EMS has been so tremendously understanding and supportive, I don't know what we would have done with out them. Jim received a crazy amount of donated leave from his coworkers, and has been able to stay home with me and help care for Jack this entire time. Sometimes, the goodness of people just surprises you. We are so lucky to have this extended family.

I can't even believe I did not lead with this, since the biggest deal today is........ Jim shaving his beard! He stopped shaving because I made some comment about wanting him to be like Gandolf in the early days, when my hair first started falling out. All along, I have sort of regretted making that comment, since the beard kind of makes him look like a crazy mountain man. But Jim loves it. In honor of the last day, he is going back to being my babyfaced sweetie. I will add pics a little later.

For now, Jack has systematically thrown each and every toy I have given him to occupy himself while I blog on the floor, so mommy duty awaits. The only big question is: should I don my tutu, as promised, for my last day of chemo?

You'll have to wait and see what happens, I guess. :)

Round Ten.

Jim just unhooked my infusion pump for THE LAST TIME EVER!!!! Goodbye, methotrexate. You've been good to me and all, killing this cancer, but I gotta say, you've worn out your welcome. Up for today: my final two doses of Etopiside, which I lovingly refer to as, "the hair taker," and Dactinomyacin, a "tumor inhibiting antibiotic." 

A week from then are my final doses of Cyclophosphamide and Oncvorin (Vincristine,) which do the most damage to my liver. 

My ANC was low today but high enough to get chemo. I met with Dr. Sehbai for the last time while actively in treatment and he said I can get my port out in November. I simply can't wait. That thing is driving me nuts. 

That's all to update for now, it's 6 am and my cell is only at 3% battery. I will check in with you kittens later! Have a great day. 

I'm Ok?

Hey guys. Just a quick update. Jack has been far more active lately, and taking up SO MUCH time! He's started on solid foods, and I'm having tons of fun making different purées for him. So far, sweet potatoes are the fave. 

Here he is hanging in the high chair. 

We also have had some visitors. Jamie, Olivia and Drake were here this past weekend. 

This is Olivia and Drake with Jack and I at Cape Henlopen State Park on Sunday. We had the best time with them this weekend. 

My dad is in town, too. Get ready for cuteness overload! 

Grandpa is all about stories and teaching Jack about tools. He's also built me a shelf in my laundry room and bathroom that pretty much made my day. Or week. Or month. Because everyone needs good storage solutions. He's also installing a few extra towel bars in my bathrooms. Swoon. 

I'm blogging from chemo right now, just waiting for my "chemistries" to come back to tell me if it's safe for me to get chemo. Last week my liver was improved enough to start another round. It looks like, if all goes well, I'll be tying up my last day of chemo October 15. I hope everything is ok and I get my chemo today. If any delays happen it's really going to mess with my 30th birthday and my plans to be done with chemo that week before. My birthday is the 23rd! My dad is here with me today and Jim is too. Can't wait to get out of here and get a cheeseburger or something. 

My hcg continues to fall, and the Mayo value was measured at 3.6 as of last Monday. I was nervous it wouldn't fall or maybe had spiked in the week I took off, but it was down by .3. 

Thanks to those of you who have come by the check on me and sent emails/comments.  It means so much to me even though I don't always respond quickly enough to let you know. Don't stop doing what you're doing, cause it's helping me!