There are tears welling up in my eyes, but its not because I*m sad. I*m just sitting here listening to music (Regina Spektor, actually,) and looking at my boys on the couch together. Because of the song, I asked Jim who he thought loved who first. He says he loved me first. But you know what, Jim and I don*t even agree on our first meeting. I apparently have forgotten the first meeting we ever had in a dorm.... In real time,Jack has a playful smile on his lips and Jim just looks content. Now don*t you go telling me a 10 week old (tomorrow!) can*t playfully smile. My kid is a GENIUS. And I*m sure I*m the only one to ever think that.... But he had some shots yesterday, and our pediatrician seems to think that he IS advanced, socially. But then again, a child of mine would be a social butterfly...
I cannot fathom how I am happier with cancer than without. Its like some switch went off in my mind, and suddenly everything is better. I know, you*re thinking, this girl is off her rocker. I guess it has just made me appreciate everything so much more.
Today, we traveled to A.I. Dupont Hospital, its a pediatric hospital. My oncologist was concerned that maybe Jack has some of the bad cells from my placenta in him. It would likely manifest as liver issues/cancer. I think a friend on Facebook summed it up pretty well (haaaaiiii Gwen!) when she said "no parent should ever have to do this." It wasn*t as bad as I thought, and Jack took the blood draw like a champion. Here he is before:
Straight chillin, my little fly guy.
You should have seen me, I was a mess. But instead of that, I will entertain you with this funny picture of me in a mask since it was, after all, a children*s hospital. They tend to have sick kids there.... not great for chemodo dragons like myself. I am not invincible:
The doc promised that he would have the bloodwork "in two hours." Just a word to the wise: if you are going to tell a parent you can answer, definitively, if their child has a life threatening illness, YOU SHOULD DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE! He actually asked if we wanted to stay and wait, but I had to have the stitches out of my port, back in Lewes (2 hours away.) Our appointment was at 9, so when we hadn*t heard by 4 PM, Jim and I were really buggin out.We called and they said, they won*t know until tomorrow. WHY DIDN*T THAT DR PUT A STAT ORDER ON MY KID*S BLOODWORK?????? WHAT THE HELL, MAN???
So, what happens if the bloodwork is good?
Life is good,
Jack is healthy.
But, if he has some hcg in his blood, its a bad sign. He will need to be admitted to the hospital, sedated, and given a CT scan with an IV and everything. And I was upset about a NEEDLE. *Sniff*
Let*s just hope and pray that Jack is healthy.I will update you guys tomorrow!