I was up all night in excruciating pain. Mostly in my stomach, but also the worst sinus pain of my life. I guess the Vincristine and Cytoxan (short for cyclophosphamide, which i JUST CANNOT SAY,) were a bit harsher than EMA portion of EMA/CO. Have you ever taken a medical terminology class? Cy is tissue. Toxan, I think you can use your imagination on. So we are just killing tissues here. I am trying to get past this, think of the bloodthirsty, serial killer unicorns, but GOLLY.
Fortunately, my in laws Mike and Sandy were here with us, and they took care of Jack so Jim and I could "sleep." Jim actually got a lot of sleep, although Jack did not. I woke Jim up at 2:30 AM begging for ice and a hot pad. You haven*t really lived until you*ve used a heating pad and a cold pack simultaneously.
I had a huge meltdown when they moved the pack and play that Jack sleeps in from my room to the guest room. Crying, screaming, complete hysterics. For like 2 hours. I think moments like that are why benzodiazepines were invented, but I waited way too long to take any. Actually, I didn*t take ANY yesterday until about midnight (I had chemo at 9 am,) and Nurse Ratchet was lecturing Jim about it. She said he should dose my coffee.
I also started developing mouth sores yesterday. Not really looking forward to that.
My stomach felt like I had ridden the Viper like a million times. Does anyone remember that roller coaster? Does it still exist, at Darien Lake? Have you been on it? Let me know in the comments! I really only went on the thing once, my Dad goaded me into it. It was just raining, and I cried the whole time. I*m not too tough. I was also in like 3rd grade.
So I stayed in bed until about 9 am, then I got up and took a BUTTLOAD of meds:
-Claritin (after TEXTING Dr. S, who said its ok. Love him!)
-Compazine at 2 am.
Really, pretty benign next to the cell death infusions from yesterday. I took a really hot shower and shaved my legs. I can*t WAIT til I don*t have to do that anymore!
Seriously, hairloss has its perks. Although my hair did start falling out yesterday. I have a tiny bald spot and this weird sorta burning pain all over. And nosebleeds. I guess this shit speeds up pretty fast.
I*m thinking when this is over, I should have a bucket list. Or maybe I should get started on the things I always wanted to do and I was too afraid of before, like surfing. Any suggestions? So far I have this:
-Surfing; regular and windsurfing
-Snowboarding. I don*t care how much it makes my ass hurt.
-Taylor Swift concert. I have no shame.
-Eating a doughnut every single day?
-Hot stone massage
Yeah not much.
Today I*m still not feeling like myself, so I*m going to stop.